I'm back...

Hello all. Again it's been quite a few months but I figured I could write on this thing. Life is pretty sweet right now. I'm teachign 4-8 grade orchestra in Lake Geneva, WI. LG is about an hour and a half from Milwaukee, Chicago and Madison, so I'm close to a bunch of major cities where I know people, which si nice. I don't really have anyone I'd call a 'friend' here in LG, but I enjoy all of the people I work with-including my students!!

We had our first concert on Tuesday night. It went REALLY well, I was shocked! Only one student broke a string and only one didn't have their music...and thankfully it all happened before the concert and not during! The students all played really well too, sure there were some spots that could have been better but everything went about as it had in the rehearsals proceeding the concert. I think I was most nervous about speaking infront of the 400 people that were there and not really about the musical aspect. I knew the students and I had worked really hard and that things should go well. I got to talk with a lot of parents after the concert and everyone was really nice. The parent of my most advanced cellist, who is also a very good cellist, told me he thought that was the most advanced music he'd ever heard out of a middle school group at this school. A high school student who is very cocky/opinionated said that he wishes he would have had me for a teacher because he would be a much better player than he is now. The compliments were nice, but the craziest part of it is-I was in charge of over 120 students learning music these last 2 months and they actually learned something and in the end enjoyed it! We've definitely had some trying rehearsals, esp. with well all of my grades but the 7th basically (they're the shit), boys giving me lip, girls that are drama queens, students who can't really play their instruments...but it all paid off in the end!!

So, my job is great but social life is lacking. This weekend I'm hoping to go up to EC for the Joy of Hastings party and the Holiday concert. It will be really good to see people as well as hear all of the groups-I know I'm going to get REALLY emo! Lol. That's probably alright though. In a way I think it's good that I dont' have a social life here in LG because during the week I can concentrate on school. However, it would be nice sometimes to have someone to grab dinner or a drink with after a long day of work. Having a drink by yourself gets old after a while. Haha. I've been working out a fair amount too, well starting last week, cause at least then I'm around people and not in my 2 room condo all night. I've met some great people thru the LGSO but we're not rehearsing until Jan. It's nice to have the time off on Thursday nights (to do important things like write on my long forgotten blog) though.

There has been a lot of death around lately though, which has been wearing on me a little. Yesterday we were called in for a 5 min. staff mtg. where they read a county press release to us about a man who had died in a car crash (car vs. tree) which eneded up lighting on fire. It turned out to be the father of one of my 4th grade orchestra students, the sweetest little girl. She, her father and the rest of her family were at her first orchestra concert only hours before his death. She wasn't in orchestra today, but I hope she will come back when she is ready. I feel that it might be hard though considering it was one of the last things she had experienced with him. The wake is on Monday and I'm going to talk to the band director at school to see if he thinks I should go or if he was going...he taught the man who died (the directors like my dads age) and currently has his son. Also, Ben's cousin committed suicide this past weekend and Ben had just seen him a few days before when AA Bondy played in the cities. He said his cousin was a really amazing musician and he had left a note that said he had to end his life because he had all of these musical ideas in his head that he couldn't get out onto paper. Also, I guess he was really religious so Ben thinks it may have had something to do with that...though I'm not sure how. Also, a few weeks ago both Ray's dad and my uncle passed away, it just seems like we go so long without having someone who we know pass away and then all of the sudden it's a ton of people all in a short period of time. When all of this happens I just can't help but think that my parents are over 60 now and how it's just going to be terrible when they pass. I am going to be a wreck...and really busy dealing with everything cause it's just me! Yikes, I will just not think about that until it happens...

Anyway, life is beautiful. I hope it is for you too! :)
LZ

Life Goals (first post in almost 2 years...)

Life Goals

July 15^th, 2008

Find the ‘love of my life.’

Have a family.

Travel to the pyramids in Egypt.

Learn to play jazz.

March in a drum corps.

Have my own band/orchestra program.

Achieve my graduates’ degree (doctorate?)

Be happy.

Laugh often.

Dance until I can no longer dance.

Keep in touch with old friends.

Be as caring for my children as my parents are for me.

Learn when certain people/items on an agenda need to be put aside.

Speak at a music educator’s convention.

Learn how to be a great teacher.

Go to Prague.

Have a hammock in my backyard.

Learn how to give an appropriate handshake.

Top Five...

So here are some of my top fives, inspired by the amazing movie "High Fidelity." Most are not listed in any specific order. I'm sure these will be thrilling discoveries for all of you, enlightening you on the inner workings of my mind. Enjoy.

TOP FIVE...

TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME:
1) The Wonder Years (#1 by far!)                                                                                                  

2) The OC

3) I Love Lucy

4) Daria (why did MTV ever get rid of that sarcastic girl?!)

5) Jenny Jones (and not just 'cause I was on it! I loved that show from a young age...sad I know)

THINGS (NOT PEOPLE):

1) A warm blueberry muffin

2) Playing an instrument (generally oboe/violin)

3) Listening to music

4) Random acts of kindness

5) Teaching & Learning (I think I can group those two together...)

MEMORIES OF LAST SUMMER:

1) Teaching 4,5,6 graders at a sumer string camp

2) Putting on a recital

3) Going to Nan (seeing my Mols!)

4) Going to DCI Finals

5) Hanging out with family & friends back home

ITEMS OF FOOD:

1) Blueberry Muffins (#1 by far)

2) Rainbow Sherbet (from Baskin Robins) with Oreo's on top (don't knock it till you've tried it!)

3) Desert Breads

4) Roast Beef Au Ju/Au Poive sandwiches

5) Hot Fudge Brownie Sundae

MOVIES:

1) High Fidilety

2) Newsies

3) Mean Girls

4) Sleeping Beauty

5) The OC: Season 1

THINGS I WANT TO BE WHEN I "GROW UP":

1) A role model

2) A mom (a good one hopefully!!)

3) A teacher

4) A good listener

5) A good & happy wife

SONGS/PIECES:

1) "Don't Speak"~No Doubt

2) "Thriller"~MJ

3) "3x5"~John Mayer

4) "October"~Eric Witicker (pretty sure that's not spelled right and some music person should tell me how it's really spelled)

5) "Symphonic Metamorphosis of Themes by Carl Maria von Weber, Marsch"~Paul Hindemith

THINGS TO DO WHILE I'M ON VACATION:

1) Sleep/Relax

2) Eat a lot

3) Read

4) Sight See

5) Take LOTS of pictures

THINGS IT WOULD BE HARD TO LIVE WITHOUT:
1) Oboe

2) A clock

3) A camera

4) A computer

5) A cell phone

Well that's all I've got for now. Rehearsal @ 9 AM and a long weekend ahead of me = time for bed.

~LZ~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."

That quote is the most real thing I've heard in a long time. It pretty much describes what I've been dealing with lately. Things this year are WAY different than the past 2 years of college have been. There isn't nearly as much to do and people just seem too lazy (or busy?) to do anything fun. It's real frustrating when you're all reved up to do something and then people don't want to. And it's not like any one person in particular, it's everyone. Apathetic is a good word to describe people's attitudes.

I guess it wouldn't be so hard to deal with this except that this isn't what I've come to know college as. Maybe it's that I'm getting older? Some people have suggested that and it is probably partially true. But I don't think that's the whole reason (because I've been hanging out w/ old people my whole time here and they were always doing stuff).

I think another big thing is that 3/4 of my friends are in a relationship. It's an amazing thing to be in a relationship, and I'm very happy for all of them, but it's frustrating when they just want to be with their significant other, And if there significant other isn't there than they suddenly don't feel like hanging out. AHHH! It's driving me nuts. But I guess I can't really control what others do, now can I? So I'm trying to get over that one.

Also, I've been having issues with friends. I think a lot of it is in my head, but I just don't feel very close with any of them anymore. I feel like I'm constatnly saying "no" to hanging out b/ of homework, but I'm still ALWAYS behind! How do these things happen? Grrrrr. It seems like all of my friends are equally as busy and using the same reason for saying "no" to do things w/ me. Last night I kind of had a little freakout because I was concerned w/ finding a roomie. Meggy is going to study abroad and we were palnning to live together so I have to find someone else. I think I'm going to like w/ Angela & Claire, which will really fun. They're 2 relaly fun girls and I think that I have a lot in common w/ both of them. My mom has this problem with thinking that she's bothering people or that they're annoyed with her and it's always drove my crazy how insecure she was w/ herself. Well now I think it's rubbing off on me...sweet life.

However, things are gettign better and it's beinging to look as thought some fun might arrise out of this coming weekend. Thanks for reading or rather listening to be bitch... :)
-Lauren-

This weekend calls for another entry

I think in the previous entry I mentioned that I was going to my cuz;s wedding this weekend. I did, and it was a good time but there were a couple of things that happened that made me really uneasy and I can't get some of the images from the weekend out of my head. So first of all, it was pretty much a wedding w/ a bunch of country folk as the guests. My cuz is from Sextonville (like an hr outside of madison in the country), where my mom and her whole family is originally from. Ppl were drinking pretty much the entire weekend, but that's what u do @ weddings, right? Yeah well there were a couple of things that made me think that the whole situation prolly wasn't such a good idea. I guess a bunch of the groomsmen were kicked out of the bar in the hotel, and then got in trouble b/ they put this huge log (it took 5 of these strong farm boys to lift it up) on the fire pit and started it burning. It was still burning when we left this afternoon and I know last nite it was the site for the 'post party.' Mostly everythign I'm saying is normal behavior for 20-something year olds. I didn't really think any of this was weird, just pretty hillarious.

Ok, so #1 thing that really bothered me had nothing to do w/ anyone from the wedding. Also staying @ the hotel there were a bunch of golfers. It is a golf resort, so it made sense that there were a lot of middle-aged men (and a few women) there to golf. I walked down to check my e-mail in the lobby after I got back from the rehearsal dinner (9:30?). From the time I walked from my room, to the lobby and back to my room @ least 15 men (MY DAD'S AGE!!!!!!!) checked me out and half of them made some disgusting noise, whistled or made some comment. I am really started to get frustrated w/ the way that @ least 50% of men act towards women. It is disgusting. Even @ home I can't walk down the street w/out being mugged @ by some nasty guys or whistled or honked @. And I've talked to a bunch of my friends and they've experienced the exact same thing. They even brought it up be4 I did. UGH! It's so annoying and just makes me hate the male race. It's rare to find a guy who doesn't act like a pig, which is really sad. And what really got me a/ these men @ the hotel is how old they were! And it wasn't like they were cruzing in their car, a safe distance away. They were totally comfortable saying stuff to me when I was only a few feet away. If there weren't like 5 of them (in a group, @ a time) and I was by myself there would have been a good chance that I would have gone off or @ the least given them some dirty ass look. Alright, enough bitching a/ that for now.  

So then another weird thing that happened was while Phil and I went for a walk. We walked around the hotel and ended up in the lobby outside the of the room that the pool was in. While we were there we saw this one older man (@ least 50, maybe even 60) who was plastered. He could barely walk and the only thing I could make out that he was saying to us was something a/ balls. It was relaly weird and definitely like 8:30 PM. We'd walked past this room that had a bunch of old ppl in it and liquor and then saw a sign on a door a few rooms down that said "party in 114." I guess it's just really weird for me to think that ppl who arne't in college still get plastered. I mean, it happens to everyone in college (not that that makes it okay) but I guess I thought ppl would be a little bit more mature once they're like 1/2 way done w/ their lives. Basically that just freakd both of us out.

Then we went back and danced and saw A LOT of ppl who were really plastered. Apparently throughout the nite (actually by like 11 when the wedding was over @ midnight) they cashed 9 1/2 barrels of beer. But what was worse was that I saw what seemed like even more ppl having mixed drinks. (and I swear a 7 year old girl was getting tipsy off of a beer!) I had a couple of drinks and they weren't even strong, so I'm sure these ppl had to drink a ton to get wasted. Pretty much everyone on the dance floor had a drink  in their hands and most of the guys had plastic pitchers of beer. I have seriously never seen so many drunk ppl. And so many ppl were really old! Like Phil and I went down to use the restrooms and we ended up talking to this one super plastered lady w/ a bunch of her front teeth missing. Sweet...and then there was this one relaly drunk old lady who kept dancing w/ my fam and I. Like half of the bridesmates (not my family-but these girls I didn't know) could barely stand up on the dance floor. They kept falling over and when one was getting a drink @ the bar she knocked over the big thing w/ all of the straws and napkins in it all over the floor. The whole thing was pretty much ridiculous.

Then after the wedding Phil and I went back to the pool lobby to hang out. We saw tons of drunk ppl walking back and forth for like 2 hrs. It was all good and fun until we saw this one coupple. So we hear a bottle thrown down the stairs but we couldn't see anything. Then one of the bridesmates comes sprinting past us and she looks like a mess. Then we see this huge guy come rumbling down the stairs after her. And I dont' really remember what happened in sequence, but I know she was tryign to run outside and he grabbed her and dragged her out there. Then she sat down and was bawling and he just kept yelling @ her. It was really scary. I was relaly surproised that he didn't hit her, but you never know what happened later in the night. THen they go back and are yelling on the stairs. All we can do is hear them. Phil keeps asking me if he should go say something, but I didn't even know if he should b/ that guy was extra drunk, out of control and huge.  It just kept going on for liek 5 min. all of this yelling and then he drags her outsdie again. PHil's like "are you guys doin alright?" and the guys's like "yeah, lets hope out friend is" all pissed and what not.  So we assumed that there was a drunk/sick friend that they left back @ the reception (or bonfire @ that point) and the girl didn't want to go back and the guy did. We see them still outside as the best man and his date are walking by. And I'm like "do u guys know them b/ they seem pretty upset" and they look to see who it is and are like "oh that's just blah blah blah, they just got married like 2 weeks ago". WHAT?!?! They're married!?!?!?!?! Ugh. That just creeped me out. Like ppl actualyl live like that. I mean, I know domestic abuse is a big deal, but I've never experienced anything direct like that. And I'm sure that's not the first time that's happened. How can ppl that are 'in love' treat each other that way? Wow, so basically that jsut really creeped me out.

Then we go back to the room and hear all of the yelling next door. It's continues on for several hours and keeps waking me up. My dad said he heard someone put their fist thru a wall and plaster falling. All I could here was a bunch of guys and girls yelling, but I couldn't really tell if they were pissed or just being obnoxious drunks. My parents said that they heard a lot of lets just say angry talk until @ least 5 in the morning. So I didn't really get much sleep and was just pretty creeped out all nite.

To top it off @ church this evening this lady comes in late w/ these 2 kinds who look like they're a/ 2 yrs old w/ these mesh harnesses on. Like I've seen those kid leashes that go on their arms, which is kinda creepy but udnerstandable in a crowd or something. But there was definitely not a crowd in church and they had these massive harnisses on. Creepy. The kids kept screaming all thru mass and I mean like some serious yelling. She'd take them ion the back of the HUGE church and they still were really loud to us in the front. It didn't sound like she was beign very nice to them either. I understand how frustrating it is when ur kids are acting up, but a few times I saw her jerking the harnisses really hard so that it looked painful.

All of this abuse just really scared me, a lot. I knew that ppl lived like that, but it never really hit me how real it was. I couldn't stop thinking a/ it all nite and it'll prolly bother me tonite too. Its like I wanna forget a/ all of it, but then I feel guilty b/ it is real and I've jsut been so lucky not to experience it first hand ever. Well I better try to get to bed b/ I'm starting to teach @ 8 AM tomorrow. Woot. Peace out.